Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Lone Survivor Part 5: City Part 1- Hello New Friends!

Let's jump in Skippy, we have a lot of exploring to do.

Right so avoid that got it.

Present time!

 This is the best thing ever!
 It is the best part of the news.
 Do you want my toy?
 Well I like this deal.
 Sleepy Cat!

 While we're here I do a trade for three flares.

Superflat are the people who made this game.

And here we see Skippy plays video games like the rest of us do. Minus angry yelling.

 So I decide to check out Bad News Alley.
 We find a comic and a bunch of fat monsters. You know what? I have a whole rest of the city to explore, I'll deal with you later.
Skippy. We have other problems. Read your comic later.

Wait, what? There's someone else? FRIENDS!

 Skippy, that thing you just killed took FIVE BULLETS. Our pistol isn't the strongest thing in the world. That submachine gun could be the best problem solver. Or even that shotgun. Fuck your style.
 You don't even want a more powerful pistol? Skippy go home and get a dunce cap.
 New Friend?
 NEW FRIEND!
 He's just very very dumb.
 Skippy, there was one monster and we killed it. These things can't open doors. This is the safest place besides our apartment.
 I'm not sure which is worse: That guy isn't hungry which could be a bad thing or the fact Skippy had all intentions of looting from his new-found friend.
 He tells us about a Supermarket further into the city that restocks every day.
 Ewwww, they touch my food.

 "saving."
 Well we're not much better.
 We haven't been looking very hard.
 Yeah.
 What?
 RUN SKIPPY.
 Itchy. Tasty.
 Skippy you are far calmer than you have any right to be.
 Skippy is your emotion chip broken?
 Zombie 101 says this is most likely the result.
 Go home, Hank, you're drunk.
 No shit.
 Well, Zombie 102 says this scenario is also likely. Skippy would be bad at existential crisis and well he can still talk. And we have bullets if need be.
 This is the most firm and optimistic Skippy has ever been.
 That's right Hank, you have to fight!
 Skippy noticed.
 Ah, another fan of violence. And considering these things take five bullets I'm not keen on starting fights.

 MINE
 It sounds like there's only room for one drug addict in this town.
 Shut up Skippy.
 I think I'll investigate that cure instead. My drugs. Mine.

 While we're nearby...
 Wait, cat food? Does that mean...
 Shut up Skippy, we might be able to get a pet cat!

 Hey Box Man. We're a little low on food. Mind helping out a bit?
 Skippy, how are you so pleasant to Hank, but mean to Box Man.
 Oh come on, Box Man, we're pals. You can tell me your real name.
 Skippy!
 Last time Skippy did that we ended in a stupid chase sequence.
 Did you hit Skippy?
 healing
 battery
 pickles!
SHUT UP SKIPPY. preeeciiooouuuus.

There was this nice hidey hole so instead of alerting these assholes to my presence, I used meat. as this is at least 15 bullets and who knows how much damage.

Oh hey an open door. Wonder what's inside.

 Not this again!
 Wait, who are you?
 It appears to be lights in the ceiling. Also this looks like the opening area. But you're not Box Man.
 Teleporting and flashing the lights won't make my brain work better. I imagine it's just making Skippy worse.
 Fuck if I know, but you're creeping me out.
 NO, PISS OFF.
 LALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU LALALA
 Well the chair does look comfy...I mean LALALA
 Hey Drapes Girl.
 Apparently, the dancing is painful to Skippy.
 Thanks for asking all the questions you should've asked a long time ago.
 Aww, come on guys he said please.
 Him Skippy or Him Asshole?
 Why not?
 But I like it here. It's kinda neat.
 But I don't wanna go back to the city!
 Jerk!
A health tonic? Hey, this might be good for Hank.

 Hey, a lit door and piece of paper.
 Yay!
Except not. See it's really easy to get confused about where you're going. I find it's simpler to just remember what roads lead to where. They all have names. Names that aren't on this map.

In here is a battery, fruit salad, and a mirror. It's like Christmas.

 While we're here
 It's this or nothing, take your pick.
 Hmm, I think I could be nicer to you.
Yeah, you're pretty chill.
And there was a second health potion to the left of the door. Repeat above.

 What's further left?
 *gasp* hiiiii
We have a can of food! Oh yes we do, you cute little guy.

 You have to get really close to kitty. But go slow or kitty run.
 nom nom nom
Good cat, best friend.

 Going down an alley and sneaking past most of these monsters and flaring one.
How did we fit that in our backpack?
Hey the grocery store.

OH KRONG. It's hard to see but the one on the left is SHOOTING BLOOD OUT OF HIS FACE.
Double Victory!
And heading home to cook one of the packets and take a nap, we'll call it there.
See you monday for the finale.