Monday, June 24, 2013

Super Mario RPG Part 3: The Starman Blew My Mind

What were we doing again?
Oh right. YOU. YOU FUCK. THE GODDAMN CLEF STARTS ON FA. WHO DOES THAT
HERES YOUR ANSWER. I DONT LIKE YOU YOU STUPID COMPOSER.
Give me a present to make up for all the time you ate.
What's this for?
Please don't need help.
HOLY CRAP YOU GAVE ME SOMETHING USEFUL.
Also, I forgot that Mallow leveld up and learned...well...I'm gonna be sleeping with one eye open.
Group heal! So many group heals!
I'm not gonna enjoy this am I?
Well that wasn't so hard.
These enemies are assholes. Especially the starfish. I know I used at least one froggie drink in here as the starfish can hit for massive damage if you're unlucky.
Oh, what's in here?
Shy guys, this is why no one likes you. You hang around with a bad crowd.
I see you.
He's also a jerk because
 He denies me good xp by running away!
Lakitu, nobody likes you either.
exploring...
exploring...
YAR TREASURE
So if we hit the chest we get the goods but the shy guy falls off.
AAAAA AAAAAA AAAA SPIDER
DEATH FROM ABOVE
Mallow handle these guys.
MOAR GOODIES
That looks like bad news.
It is! It is bad news! Oh joy!
Oh phew, they don't want me.
Well if they beat the sword, I won't complain.
Ladies and Gentlemen, back by no one's demand, the least useful map in the world.
Where'd the sun go?
Mario I hope you can dodge.
One arrow smack later
Right this place is terrible.
I'LL SAVE YOU!
Oh it's a kid playing with dolls...of real people...that's kinda creepy.
Hi.
Yeah. You made me lose.
Say my name, you little shit. Pray I am merciful.
NO MERCY FOR YOU
Yes yes, it's-a me.
OFFER TRIBUTE TO YOUR NEW GOD.
sigh. *boing*
You're doing a piss poor job.
Oh no, I wouldn't mind teaching the shrimp a lesson...I mean playing...
I charge 20 coins an hour.
mwahahaha...I mean yay.
The fuck's a Geno?
RAWR
RAMMING SPEED
OW MY FACE
One passing out sequence later.
Twinkle?
Sparkle?
Shiny?
Suddenly spotlight!
It's alive!
Hey buddy where ya going?
Mario you missed all the things!
Which way is the forest?
You two done? Because I've got shit to do!
No kidding. Teach him heroes never lose for long!
YOU WERE HERE ALL NIGHT YOU HAD TO HAVE SEEN IT
Yeah the less living statues there are the happier I am.
Sssshhiiiinnyyy
Sorry he abandoned you. Now let me hit that button.
ooops.
LIE
Shit.
I think I'll pass. I'll give you money to replace your treasures.
WOO ARMOR UPGRADES.
SO MUCH BOOSTING.
Go down the chimney to get this chest. I think it's coins.
I don't like that "maze" word. That's almost as bad as "sewer"
Badger, badger, badger, badger...
Green pipes? Too mainstream for wiggler.
AAAAAA BEE.
Oh thank god an exit.
What the-? THIS ISN'T DONKEY KONG COUNTRY
So...beautiful.
The stump stands alone.
Another lone stump?
ONWARD!
Aaah the maze proper.
Full of monsters who chase you. But you will see the Geno doll go down paths. Follow him to progress.
LEVEL UP
That's a lot of arrows.
You sound like a dick.
His name is Bowyer according to the text boxes.
DURR
Look! Look at how crazy he is!
How is that fun? That would get boring after like 10 minutes.
Okey dokey
Bullshit I can't.
Correction: You'll be creamed. I'll be ok.
Stumps are best cover.
I like you. You're a take charge guy!
Hi Pot, meet Kettle.
Do you kick ass for the Lord?
Scratch that you are clearly a Communist.
Do you have any other emotions?
What?
Yes and?
Holy crap really?
Hey as long as your lightning can reach from back here, sounds like a plan to me.
Hell yeah!
Get up and keep running!
Alright I'll do it alone!
Yoda you aren't.
Score one block for Mario!
I ask the questions here!
You're fine!
Who's we? The Archangels? Your fellow comrades? TV Tropes?
Who's there?
Insulted I am who?
You don't tell good jokes!
This is actually kinda tricky to pull off.
But we are awesome!
Totally is.
I don't think I'm gonna like this.
So we can't regular attack anymore. Which is fine.
And I do like that visualization.
Bzzort.
Aw what's a matter?
But yes only one button at a time can be locked.
Doesn't matter, we're buff!
Correction: Most of us are buff.
Anyway a bit more of this and...
Money!
Money Fountain!
Yes but that doesn't mean I know what you are.
Remember, early Nintendo means no religion.
Just heavily implied.
Is it like Rainbow Road?
Hooray the rest of our plot showed up!
OH GOD ITS THE THING THAT INVENTED WINGDINGS
Bullshit. But having two marios would be confusing.
To me my star!
sssshhhh you'll jinx it!
SEE!
Sunshine! Moving people!
Apparently the Wingdings can't lie well.
Unseen chrades.
Silly charades!
Woo weapon!
And on that note, we'll find out where to go next time!