Hello pretty loading. How long will I be here?
That was fast. Welcome to Crusader Kings II, the winner of the poll. Made by the same people who brought you EU3, the focus here is more on your dynasty than say conquering it all.
And we're starting in Wales guys! Wales!
ALL THE CHILDREN FOREVER
This one is our heir. And he's unwed. Let's fix that.
You look lovely. Where is Metz?
Well having friends on the continent could be very useful.
Here we say what we gain and how likely they are to accept us. This marriage is pretty much golden
Here we see our technology. We're kinda basic right now but it's early.
Our laws. I leave these as is.
And our court.
An ambitious king desires an ambition. This one is too ambitious.
This sounds doable.
Rhodri doesn't like feeling stupid.
Oh and we have a strong claim here. So when Rhodri dies interesting things will happen.
Pay for the wedding of your future king!
Our knowledge went up!
A fair? Oh I love fairs!
Delicious prestige!
A hunt? Oh that sounds lovely!
Om nom nom prestige.
Hey the neighbors are fighting. Great can you just sort of murder each other and I'll se if I have Casus Belli.
Wow you are just kicking ass.
Oh. Good for them?
Oh son I'm so proud!
NOW YOU GET MARRIED
Another continental lady. A princess even. And she wants to fall in love. Oh son you two are going to be so happy. And your children so cunning.
Hooray!
A call to arms?
YES LET US FREE BARCELONA!
A son! Named after me! Oh I couldn't be happier!
NOW LETS GO TEAR SOME THROATS IN BARCELONA!
Dammit woman I am trying to go to Barcelona! Here have a bracelet.
And this is when we learn boats are beyond the Welsh. So I can't go to Barcelona.
Aww my chaplain died.
Right picking a new one, let's see...
Oh. Well that's interesting.
Let's see, chaplain chaplain...
Very good son! Now if you excuse me I'm busy.
Well Bishop, you are the best candidate. And maybe you'll like me after this.
Right now to the matter of boats.
Can you sort that out over here? Thanks.
Oh and you go here and see if you can falsify me some stuff. I want that.
And I'll build these walls so I'm defended.
Dammit, now I need a new babysitter.
Let's see here
Oh dammit! Fine I'll read this stupid book. That trait sounds interesting
Anyway, it turns out two kids needed a babysitter.
You keep your flags on that side of the line.
Excellent!
Even better!
Our other neighbors are fighting. They can just keep it to themselves!
Marriage?
A friendship between us and Scotland? Why that's a fantastic idea!
The book is shit! I'll write my own book! With courtesans and dice! Forget the book!
Now that we work smarter we can work harder.
Feasting! I love feasting! Oh it'll be a grand big party!
Aww that's so cute and precocious.
Son, fetch the pig!
Wow these guys are better than the smelly old jester my wife hired!
I kinda went a little nuts on the jugglers. So we'll scale back the food a touch but still have lots.
Dohoho what a cute little thing.
Jeez, it's not that hard.
My my that's a good trait.
Who wants to babysit this one?
YOU IDIOT YOU STARTED THAT FIGHT.
I made a new friend!
Oh look the neighbors are at it again.
TO ARMS! Wait where's that?
oooh. Yeah you see we still haven't figured out the boat thing...sorry.
come on guys get on the boat thing!
A war I can help with? Of course Son-in-Law!
Oh man we're gonna kick their asses.
See!
We are the champions!
Oh good on you your majesty!
Hi five!
Gardening sounds nice. It'll help me calm down after that war.
Well damn.
Oh you crazy kids!
Right guys. Boats. We need to figure this shit out.
Consumption? You stay the fuck away from me!
Shit!
Now my son has consumption!
Son, I know you wanted to be the spymaster...but you're better at this.
AAAAA I HAVE CONSUMPTION
Son! As my dying wish, please figure out the boats!
Well could be worse.
ALL THE FUCKING CONSUMPTION
Well let's have one last hurrah.
WHAT THE FUCK THAT GUY HAS A PET BEAR SHOW ME
Dude these jugglers are waaay more interesting than your last sermon.
I'm cured? ITS A MIRACLE
HOLY SHIT HE HAS A PET BEAR TOO THIS IS AMAZING.
Well I don't want to lose more piety this time.
nom nom prestige.
Ooh yay more children!
A title eh?
There.
Ah another one! Excellent!
Dear son-in-law, PICK ON PEOPLE YOUR OWN SIZE!
Guys we really need the goddamn boats.
This is gonna suck.
HOLY SHIT BOATS
YES
YES YES YES
Shit.
Double shit.
Good job fuckwit.
Are we picking on smaller people this time?
Oh. Sure!
Oh right you were doing things. We'll get you a new babysitter kid.
Closer but still bad news.
Exhibit A.
Oh glory days! Almost makes me forget we're losing.
Son-in-law, do you ever pick smaller targets?
No shut up.
Alright we've recovered.
Stop that!
Good.
WHERE WAS MY BACKUP
Fine shut up we'll fix this later.
EXCELLENT!
YOUR CASTLE WILL BE MY CASTLE
Pick a new steward.
Win a battle.
Aww.
AGAIN WITH THE BACKUP.
THATS MY DAUGHTER YOU BITCH
GOOD YOU TROOPS NEEDED TO COME BACK HOME WE NEED TO SAVE MY DAUGHTER
Ah speaking of.
Good job fuckwit now help me save my daughter.
I'm proud of you kids!
I'm fucking old, why would they do that.
Yes yes! Soon Castle Asa will be mine.
No shut up.
Aww.
HA!
COME AT ME BROS!
Ah you aren't interested.
Hey, hey. You want to help me kill this Asa character?
Good!
Gossiping is fun!
Huzzah!
I trust my Marshal!
AW SHIT NOT AGAIN!
Well well.
Oh. Yeah not giving up the plot to kill you. BECAUSE I'M A PETTY KING.
I am a hearty bastard.
FUCK
NO
NO NO NO
FUCK
Oh hey. I'll put this one the backburner.
YES
NO
SHIT
Fine. I'll hire people. Money makes good soldiers.
Aaaand the Vikings fucked off when they got here.
Sorry man, but he is better.
Awww.
Well this plot is coming along slowly. Wonder what'll happen next time.
