Monday, September 30, 2013

Papers Please Part 1: Glory To Arstotzka!

 Welcome to the world of Papers Please.
 New game! I have played this game a few times before and gotten a couple different endings. There are 20 in all but we are aiming for a specific one this time.
 Congratulations!
 Winner is me!
 Oooh class 8. That means we'll get sleeping bags this time!
 Glory to Arstotzka!
 Simple enough.
 We also have a rule book
 Generally speaking I usually like to have it on the map or a relevant country.
 However that doesn't matter as we can't check for errors yet. So it's either green stamp or red stamp.
 This checkpoint is more roomier than bedroom.
 Nope, lol.
 You first asshole.
 Red stamp-a-palooza!
 You're a dick.
 Bye.
 Comrade!
 Another comrade!
 This job easy! Don't understand why no one else wanted it!
 We work from 6am to 6pm.
 We're ahead of the game woo!
 Hooray!
 Now the map is useful!
 Today, you are #1!
 Uh-oh, someone's passport expired.
 I'm telling you today is the 24th and your passport says 2.
 We have no way to check this yet, so red stamp for you!
 Comrade!
 Say hello to this games auto-pass! Yes if they hand you a Pink Vice card, all their papers are in order and you can just green-light them. And then you question your morals even though you did nothing wrong. THANKS GAME.
 Alright, you're good to go-
 What?
 Holy shit!
 Oh good more security.
 A new piece of paper to look at!
 Alright you're good to go.
 And you aren't!
 Oh you are. Fine.
 You do know we're married with son right? Well maybe we give card to uncle.
Nice fake passport.
 Whoever made your passport is bad at geography.
 Oh. Thank you. Someone cares! You don't hear that from comrades anymore.
 Happens. Still have to give you red stamp though.
 She tried to say it's an old picture. An old picture of your mom maybe.
 OK!
 Yes all accurate. Papers, please.
 Ha!
 Okey dokey.
 Bye comrade!
 Oops. Our first citation.
 Look at these good people!
 Oh little late bud.
 Just renew and come back.
 You need a ticket.
 WRONG CITY
 FALSE COMRADES GET RED STAMP.
 A very vey old picture.
 Lax controls? I only messed up once!
 Ah restrictions for everyone!
 This is the list of districts, it is also on the Arstotzka map page.
 Pay attention to those seals.
 All good!
 Also all good!
 Uh-oh someone didn't get the memo.
 Nope, sorry.
 It's not that hard, everyone else did.
 You guys need better contacts. But it all for naught. You'll never get past me!
 FALSE COMRADES GET RED STAMPS.
 Aww, well let's see those papers and get you to him.
 Uh-oh...
Oh alright. You are allowed two free errors a day before they start docking pay. And this is worth a free error.
 What's this?
 Some kind of token?
 Yes I'm aware.
 Good to go!
 New comrade!
 We have problem.
 We are now allowed to fingerprint!
 And here we learn that you can red stamp over a green stamp to deny them.
 Hi there.
 Uhhhh
 Yeah no.
 Is so true.
 I hope so the bar is pretty low here.
 You people are bad at calendar!
 The IDs for Arstotzka include height and weight info. Pay close attention.
 FALSE COMRADES RED STAMP
 Ah very good.
 We have no way of verifying this yet either. And also makes you question your morals. THANKS GAME.
 All good!
 I'M DUMB.
 Phew almost messed that up.
 Boo!
 Oooh we can be the police.
 OK let me "check"
 Fine but only because I'm in a good mood.
 If they say something off, there is a blue piece of paper behind the microphone. Pull it out to use it.
 They then fix their story.
 Hey that name sounds familiar.
 Ah yes. On page three of our paper we see the news of the day.
 Yeah I'm not taking that risk.
 Bye bye!
 All good here. Sometimes they say alternative things to what's on the paper to make you think for a second.
 Hey, appreciate the glory of Arstotzka!
 I'm only letting you in because I have to!
 We're catching all the criminals! Just like Super Comrade!
 And here we see the first instance of the denial slip!
 Welcome new comrade!
 Okey-dokey!
 Yep! Let me see that permit and we'll get you through!
 Oh...
 Oooh...ok I'll let you through.
 Another token?
 All good here!
 How did you forget you have a job!?
 Don't forget which side of the road to drive on!
 Yep you're good.
 Sure let me "check"
 Aww did I hit the button.
 The issue here was her height. And now we know she's a FALSE COMRADE
 AND FALSE COMRADES GET RED BUTTON
 Upgrades are optional. I do like this one as it allows you to inspect a bit quicker and benefits the way I have my hands on the keyboard for screenshots.
 Another paper!
 With four seals to fuck with you!
 He's on the ball!
 Hi free pass moral drain!
 As she leaves she hands us this note about a douchebag.
 LEARN. GEOGRAPHY.
 Oh hai.
 Yeah, about that.
 Oh thank you. I kinda like that guy, he's a pain but he's funny.
 SO DUMB
 Well well well
 Nope, I heard you're a douche!
 Good news nobody stole your identity today!
 HOLY FUCKING SHIT
 Good news, bad news.
 Oh. Oh goody.
 You're todays first winner.
 Everything else on the papers look good.
We have magic photo paper that prints on both sides. She's clean and good to go.
 Oh good another winner. Booray.
 Yay an easy one.
 And now we can check the "sex discrepancies." And still feel morally icky.
 HOLY SHIT YOU COULD KICK MY ASS.
 NEW COMRADE YAY
 You suck at days.
 We have an issue!
 Medicine? Medicine so rare and expensive in Arstotzka. What if little one get sick? OK, you get through.
 You suck!
 I SUCK.
 EVERYONE SUCKS.
 And you confused me.
 OH THANK KRONG GLORY TO ARSTOTZKA
 These are simple.
 Ah our esteemed diplomat!
 And here you see the diplomatic seals in the book.
 Yes we have to tell diplomats that. Because we're silly.
 DAMMIT I MESSED UP ALREADY
 Do you really?
 Nope, not at all.
 The rules didn't change in 5 seconds.
 Okey-dokey.
 This job is weird and makes me feel bad.
 Order?
 Weird he handed me a paper with a symbol and this name on the back.
 Sure here's my check button.
 Yawn.
 STOP SUCKING ME
 Oh wait Mr Corman! Your paper?
 Well...is true...maybe things get better...
 ...what the shit is this
 I AM THE DUMBEST OF THEM ALL
 All these people were good to go.
 Woo another upgrade!
Spies? We'll deal with them next time. Where I'll hopefully suck less.