OK, let's just load this up.
Oh, more. OK at least they changed the picture.
More? Hmm-hmm-hmm
We do what we must because we can hmm-hmm-hmm
OH! Yes. Hey guys, this time we'll be playing EU3, as determined by the poll. I snagged this during the Steam Sale and I've been itching to try it.
To set up EU3, you pick any date between 1399 and 1821. They give you the list of historical cool stuff with interesting countries. Or you can play whatever country you want. I asked my friends for ideas and one kept popping up.
Granada 1399.
Another bout of loading and...
the game crashes...twice...
Finally! Granada is that little bit at the bottom of Spain. We start off with decent stability and prestige. Those red banners at the top tell us things we can do. From left to right, we can move a slider, fill an advisor position, and build improvements. Well advisors sound important.
Wow. All three are empty. What were we ruling by the seat of our pants before this?
And we have access to one guy. Might as well.
And here's our main page. We're very well known and respected right now. Also we think Castille is looking at us funny.
I adjust the Quality-Quantity slider one toward the Quality side so we get our discounts while being a bit more discipline. If Castille is looking at us funny, we don't want to be caught with our pants down. Also those red arrows on the sliders are minimums/maximums. Our Centralization-Decentralization slider started below the minimum. Weird.
Yay we get another advisor.
Holy Discipline Boost, Batman!
Clicking on the province gets us more information. Our funds are a bit too low to build the temple. Also there are some provincial decisions we can't make yet.
Clicking on those flags tells us about the military stuff in the area. We have a lot of boats but they aren't the best, not so many soldiers, and no leaders. Fantastic.
It's hard to see but we got the mission to have more boats than Aragon at the same time that Castille declared war on us. IT'S A CONSPIRACY.
We need bodies to hold the guns and Castille has a lot more than us. A lot more.
I put in an order for a nice boat as A) we're surrounded by water and thus can use it as a support network B) Rivers and shores say we can bug Castille this way too.
Almeria is attacked at the same time Algiers says the want to be friends. Hooray new friends!
Men, go beat up the forces over there!
Well up yours too! I can do that.
HA!
SHIT!
This may be problematic.
ooooh that's bad.
A close up view of FAR TOO MANY CASTILLAN FLAGS.
Yeah, can't say I'm surprised about that. Also there goes any progress on Operation: Build ALL the Boats.
They took Almeria, the other two forts are holding, but there's food shortages. My allies are dicks. And to top it all off?
Every time I try to do any kind of peace, Castille refuses using the Athenian logic of "Hey, we're winning, why should we stop." What could be worse?
...?
...
...
There must be someway out of here...There's too much confusion...I can't get no relief...
...
...?
Oh, did you finally get bored of dragging your cannons over the dead bodies? Also, I don't have 17 ducats!
Well that's sad.
OH COME ON!
But Cordoba is part of Castille. And they fucked me over...
LET'S DO THIS!
oh. That was fast.
Oh well. At least Castille can start making Spain. And fuck you Algiers and Morocco.
