Monday, September 22, 2014

Dungeons of Dredmor Attempt 4: Splitting the Timeline

 It's been awhile since we've been here. I've missed it.
 PS I still suck.
 You ever want to play one game really bad, but also want to play another game really bad too? Yeah I was in one of those moods and found a mod.
 This is the most Link-ish skill set I could think of. Also I played on Talk Like A Pirate Day so ARRR
 And go!
 We're looking good.
 And why isn't this equipped?
 Look the game wants us to break and enter!
 Nom nom red potion
 And we steal a diggle egg. Because we can.
 Hello Eely. Let me just get this arrow ready for you.
 OW OW I FORGOT YOU SPIT ACID.
 Hey already!
 BOMBS! YES BOMBS!
 I just punch this one to death with a sword.
 And our prize is lutefisk magic.
 Lutefisk for our lutefisk magic!
 Hello! Don't mind me just stealing your babies.
 Battery!
 And pants! Wait why didn't we have our glorious leggings? The Goblin King gave us those dammit!
 Hail Krong!
 Oh Might Krong, please bless our equipment so it may be even mightier!
 Huzzah!
 Oh man goodies for days!
 Here have a code.
 magic vending machine!
 shoes!
 And the same shitty sword we already have
 And a level!
 YARR HARR
 I know it's not sword. But it's hook shaped. So hookshot. I don't want a shitty weapon.
 BRAX WHY DO YOU HAVE THIS
 Oh hey a good sword!
 SELL ALL THE THINGS.
 Yeeess
 All my vandalism is heroic
 I alchemize some pants. Don't question it.
 Haha you're over there.
 And I have fire!
 Hmm
 Oh stairs. I should open that.
 And junk.
 Hey you aren't Hylia
 Eh fine.
 Two?
 Oh hey going to the same place. ok.
 Oh my Krong, it looks like awesome in a bottle.
 Aww no money
 Hey guys!
 Mmm heals.
 Sure. Oh I found a thing?
 Oh pretty.
 HOLY SHIT
 And normal effects.
 Aww sucky sword. But the amulet makes up for that.
 This is useful so yes.
 Oh man. All the goodies.
 Yasss.
 And lutefisk.
 So I used a bomb on that robot. It took out a lot of health and redesigned the dungeon.
 STUFF!
 oh come on
 Hey the thing
 Brax give me money.
 Ladies and gentlemen, people who don't identify as either, I present to you
 The hero of time in a traffic cone.
 Oh man another shiny. Not as good as first shiny.
 Oh Mighty Krong, please bless my mighty green outfit, for it is the sign of a true hero!
 PRAISE BE TO KRONG
 This is so good.
 Trades?
 Not enough for trades
 Link was saddened this pot wasn't breakable.
 Ohh good ring.
 Hey you can't mass produce these! These are sacred to Kokiri!
 Hey it's that thing!
 Stab better!
 Money!
 Stab stab stab
 Ooh nice
 Brax give me money
 I buy the things
 I buy more things.
 Hello
 Don't put it on the other side of the map.
 Ok good just around the corner.
 Don't you do it.
 OK that wasn't far.
 KILL THE GNOMES!
 Brax give me money
 Alright let's enter our code.
 My clothes are better
 OM NOM NOM
 That's an interesting splotch of jam
 I WANNA SIT ON IT
 Eh that was underwhelming. Aside from that throne. It will be mine!
 Alright down we go.
 A welcoming party!
 AAAAA NOT THE ZOMBIES. THEY HUMP YOUR LIFE AWAY
 Very nice but mine's better. It's sacred.
 Aww I want those fancy pants.
 Please die.
 OH POOP
 BOMB BOMB BOMB
 MORE FIRE
 OK WE'RE FINE
 Shiny money
 OH MIGHTY KRONG PLEASE BLESS MY SWORD TO BE A TRULY MIGHTY ONE
 I ACCEPT IT GREAT KRONG
 I have lots of lutefisk for trade
 I WILL FIND THE MOTHER OF DRAGONS!
 Oh. Oh this isn't who I thought it'd be. Downvote.
 Ladies and gentlemen, people who identify as neither, I present to you
 The Hero of Time in a ridiculous hat
 Hmmm
 Hmmm
 Eh I'll just wait on that gate choosing thing.
 Another code!
 Hey you can't rip off my style!
 Eh sure.
 Oh I haven't found where they are yet.
 This isn't them this is just a lot of slime.
 Things!
 And gloves!
 Well what's in box #1
 Eh I like mine better.
 AAAAAAAA HE HURTS
Poo.
Well see you all next time.