Well here we are. Surrounded by BABY KERMITS. But this place doesn't have the supplies I want.
Give me all the things.
Well here we are.
You're kidding? There's no way the game would be that big a dick.
Holy crap the game was that big of a dick.
It's a this point I realize I'm low on money. I choose to revive the person who can heal themselves.
I should be able to handle this. And it'll make the Bard quest active.
What the flying fuck?
No. No, I refuse. I refuse you're microtransactions. I refuse your grinding. I refuse you're evil DM and his evil ways. I'm going somewhere else to have my own adventure. Where a DM won't stop me! I am on it!
Here we are!
Dammit I forgot this was the map with the evil loot.
Yay more damage right off the bat.
I see you down there
OH KRONG TELEPORTATION RUNES
It's also at this point I just notice the Scout starts with a map of the place. Good job me.
Let's head for the pale blue dot.
I can take them.
OH KRONG WHAT HAPPENED TO MY HEALTH
It'll be ok, it'll be ok.
See, we're fine. Just fine.
Look now we have magic defense. And another resistance. A relevant one at that. We're good adventurers!
Scout, I've died twice now! The number of deaths is two! Son, I am disappoint.
That death was totally just a fluke. Our little Halfling Hero friend is the real hero.
His lucky loot drops don't suit him though.
Ah, perfect. It's not that far to the stairs
WHAT THE SHIT. The number of deaths has been three'd. I get it. I'm not supposed to go on your typical fantasy adventure. Fine, there'll be no adventure line for me. But I will survive. I will live. You'll see.
A real firestarter to get us going.
I will find that man. And I will put an axe in his noggin.
Right. Where is?
There is. So helpful.
And the Bun Family
Oooh it's the Bun Family reunion I see.
GET IN THE BASKET OF DOOM
That didn't work out so well.
Accidentally ate some flowers.
RUN FROM THE BEES. RUN TOWARD THE BERRIES.
Hellooooo. What are you Mr. Bird?
I see some sharp stones. And a bunny I can catch.
Hey what are you doing?
YOU FAT TURKEY FUCK.
And then dusk scares the bunny into his hole.
Willow in the latest fashion.
Well this is as good a place as any
Make some tools.
Just because we're pyromaniacs doesn't mean we hate the environment.
Worries that I'm actually trapped on an island.
We are the prettiest.
Good good, less islandy.
Damn. So close to a science!
OH FUCK SPIDER
Maybe if we impress him with our pyrotechnics he'll left us in.
Or we could burn his house down.
Eh better not I haven't seen any replacement potential minions
I could set this whole place on fire. And it would burn forever.
Well the rain is ruining plan fun. And the poop is just adding insult to injury.
Oh. It's you guys.
Oooh what's that.
Right you are.
How the hell did we get all the way over here?
STOP RUNNING SO FAST YOU FAT TURKEY FUCK.
I could do that but that would eat all my rocks
And as tempting as it is, I will not hit the bees.
Willow is referring to the fire flies.
stop tempting me.
Up here I find a wormhole. I chose to ignore it for now.
Bushes are pokey
I KNOW WHAT I MUST DO
What the fuck?
AH CRIKEY FUCK THIS PLACE
And what's that?
And gardening. And location. And a lot of things.
Hmm, maybe in the morning.
OH FUCK BATS
Fire doesn't scare bats. Good to know.
I'm surrounded by death on four sides. I need to get out of here. Go on a different adventure.