Welcome to Super Mario RPG. Your childhood is happy to see you again. I say "your" and not "mine" becasue mine was spent with three Donkey Kong Countries, other Marios, FFIV, and Link to the Past.
As such I'm doing this blind!
Much easier to pronounce.
Princess Peach is standing here in front of our house,while we do Krong knows what.
Suddenly, night time!
aw shit.
Yes yes we're coming.
Hi Battle System. A is for attacking, B is for defending and running, X is for Items and Y is for Special.
Out of the way wussies.
Ah the standard lava bridge.
Correction: The Asshole Lava Bridge.
Hey Mario, look up.
How did you get up there?
Holy shit we jump high.
Oh you're not known as Peach yet. Right.
Death threats? In a Mario game? That don't involve the words "game over"? MADNESS
Punching in midair. Because fuck physics.
Huh, that's a really good idea. Thanks, Princess.
Don't hit me with stars!
I will now punch your chain.
Well you asked for it.
Boo.
Pictured: My inability to time screenshots. This is a thing this part. Promise I'm working on it.
YOU DON'T HURT THE KINKLINK
Aw crud.
Welp.
And you're always an asshole. Even in the kart races.
Are you surprised?
I'm with you princess.
I'll catch you!
STAAAARS
Sword?
Bit late for that, Title Screen.
Not Pictured: Mario falling down the pipe into his house.
Spot the Mario.
And a fuck you to you too good sir.
Yeeeaaah about that.
Wow we had to jump down. He didn't even offer to help us.
I'm not sure I should tell you because you're such an asshole.
Wow you just take us for granted. This must be how Luigi feels.
Alright round 2.
This time for you.
I think I have a room in this castle by now with how often I've invaded it.
That's a stupid gang name.
Doubtful.
GIVE ME BACK MY BRIDGE YOU DICK
Sigh, back we go.
And now for Charades with Mario.
But he's just gonna make me do stuff.
Hey you ran into me!
You little shit.
Mushroom!
Entertain me.
Aaaand it work like every menu ever.
Hey buddy there's a thing back there.
WELL THIS WOULD'VE BEEN NICE TO KNOW EARLIER
IT WORKS FOR THESE TOO!? STOP HOLDING OUT ON ME GAME
How about you tell the Chancellor and I try to be productive?
Sigh.
Good man!
Forward!
Into an endless stream of goombas
When you normal attack.
When you special attack.
This is what item blocks look like. This makes sense.
Well look what the cat dragged in.
Leave that guy alone!
Yes please!
Woo!
Nothing else matter if you can't take a hit.
Can you stop getting kidnapped?
Beautiful!
Bouncy Flower!
Things!
Fuck spineys. At least you can punch them.
Worse. Than. Toadstool.
Really now?
WHY ARE THERE TWO OF YOU
Well then.
Don't worry about it.
Gee I fucking wonder.
A hammer.
Very good, Kronk.
Are you sure?
Glorious!
Superb!
I detect a future side quest!
And maybe this too.
I spy with my little eye something beginning with Worst Guard Ever
Yes yes.
I know how I feel, I feel terrible BTW.
But I'm Mario...
Sigh, this is definitely how Luigi feels.
uuuuuhhhhhhhh
Charades with Mario 2! Now with costumes!
WHY DID I COME HERE AGAIN
More Charades!
Yeah gee thanks asshat
Actually I doubt this will be all that useful
I HAVENT EVEN LEFT YET
Thank you.
Asshole.
Are we good?
We're good.
Thank you!
They're MP with a different name. I think I got it.
Huh?
OH NO THAT IS CLEARLY A SAD WEATHER GOD
DONT CRY TINY WEATHER GOD
BE NOT SAD BE NOT SAD
Phew...
If you remember will you cry again?
... YOU ARE NOT A FROG
Don't cry secret weather god.
See even the game agrees with me.
Stat comparison!
HOLY SHIT A WIZARD
Thank you now let me buy things.
Like basic clothing. Because Great Scott the Mario is naked.
Where does Mario get all these costumes?
wait wait wait. the Mushroom Kingdom has bazookas? Not Bullet Bill Bazookas!?
Hey stop asshole!
Giant lizard is new.
Dat Hammer.
Mallow's Multi-hit Magic!
What an idiot.
Level up!
More Specials!
Don't know what these are but they aren't that tough.
Recovery!
What happens when he sees you. Get used to that because he's a right jerk.
First success!
2nd success!
Third Success!
Let's test that magic.
I like that number.
Oh you don't like that.
Hooray a shortcut!
Hey I thought you went back to the shop...
Woo!
SHY GUYS ON POGO STICKS...hmmm that's not very catchy
Ladies and Gentleman the Mushroom Kingdom TSA.
Money! *Confetti*
So make sure to see this guy.
Worth it!
Hey get out of the palace!
uhhh you do know who I am right?
Hello new person.
Oh boy the classic Mooks and Bigger Mook.
Mallow is the bestest.
Also your Jump can occasionally stun him.
And before you know it...
Money Fountain!
Star?
Star!
STAAAAARS
*cough* I think I need a lozenge.
Damn skippy I am.
Umm..
I hate you all.
And he is not a frog, no matter what he says.
...You're lucky I have a good memory.
...Sewer level...oh fuck me
And that's all we'll do for now. The stars even have a place in our profile Next time...fucking sewers.
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