Before we go into the final dungeon, there are a couple things I wanted to clear up first. Starting with our old friend who can lead us to the final dungeon.
You raised him well Frogfucius.
Oh. Well telling you the good news was worth the back tracking. And hooray fast travel.
CROCO!? I MUST PUNCH HIM.
Well I'll investigate that in a bit.
YOU THERE CRIMINAL SCUM.
You better run away!
So if you really care about those hidden boxes, here you go.
Well this is the tallest building south of Nimbus.
If you were juggling chainsaws I'd be having fun.
So this game gets harder each time and usually you get this shitty prize.
If you're lucky you'll get a good prize.
Play enough and you get this thingy.
So helpful.
Because it'll be funny!
He says something to her but we never hear it.
He scooched away from her at first.
But she's not letting him go now.
WORST HINTS.
Our attempts to find the casino got us a level up.
You can find it in Bean Valley in the area with the Shy Away watering the Pirahna Plants. I somehow didn't get a screen of that.
And MOAR LEVELS!
Well this doesn't look right. But treasure!
LIES AND DECEPTION
Well this wasn't right either but yay slots.
Ahhh a chomp
A few chomps.
Secrets
Thats surprisingly unfancy.
So here's some Frog Coin grinding if you're good at timing.
Which I'm not.
And then I lose because I had a 17 and he had a 21
Much like his brother he has a free game to play. If it gets you something I don't know because I got bored of this game.
FUCK THOSE GUYS....sorry.
Can you guys spout the exposition faster?
Blah blah blah gimme keys.
Magic plot convenience.
It's really not that hard to remember STAR ROAD.
Dude, we're royalty too. You don't need permission.
WHAT IS THAT MONSTROSITY
IS THAT A CYBORG MAN?
I like how nobody is afraid to go to Bowser's Keep. Bowser is a terrible villain.
Wheeee
A floating Toad? WITCH BURN HIM
Well this place hasn't gotten any prettier.
And then you should hire an interior decorator.
Bowser's presence scares members of the Koopa Troop. Making all this hilarious.
Monsters of this area. The Heavy Koopa and green goombas are not phased by Bowser.
Oh a dark area. Goody.
YOU! YOU FIEND!
Blah blah blah save point blah. I'm not an idiot.
NOT AN IDIOT.
Wait you're being helpful. Wait am I buying stolen goods. YOU ASS FACE YOURE LUCKY IM DESPERATE.
Is the price right?
Nope fuck that. Platforming in this game is awful.
I like grinding.
Well that sounds fun!
Greetings 1996, this is 2013. We live in a world of internet and save states. Because fuck your shoddy platforming.
Start fight course.
End fight course. Nothing particularly difficult
And lucky drop!
It's beautiful!
This is a room where you had to turn all the switches off. not that hard.
And it's that game you play at Cracker Barrel. I'm pretty good at that.
Eeyup.
GOOD BATTLE ITEM. This does 200 damage to each enemy. Hard to get and fantastic.
It's a bunch of trivia throughout the game. Most of it is easy.
Two large piles of barrels. Frankly I just guessed.
I'm sorry did I stumble into the Ministry of Silly Walks?
And by "once" he means "as much as you want before you talk to me"
Correct order is Bones Kipp Goo Boo
GLORY TO ME
Hey Bowser scare the monsters ok?
YES GIVE ME ALL THE POWER SO I CAN BEAT SMITHY
Way to be an asshole game. And hi Bahumut.
BOWSER AM PUNCH BETTER
Mario contemplates why everyone keeps putting deadly drops in their architecture.
Oh please let us in we just want to show off the latest in cleaning technology it'll only take a minute.
He's hiding behind that tiny thing. That's not hiding.
This isn't particularly hard at this point.
Suddenly wardrobe change.
Hang on let me get the list.
Yes we took Bowser in so he'd learn to suck less.
Did you summon Pele to make Smithy fall in lava?
You are a good person and people say nice things about you.
A very good person!
HOW DID YOU GET HERE?
I WILL END YOU
I remember~
Yep. And you are in the way.
Whhyyy I just want to get to the giant sword!
And despite what you think, the shy guy is not a valid target. Because what are book ends?
He goes from red to blue to red again in the course of the battle.
Yes you're presence was.
Uhhh you ok guy?
Holy shit!
OK. I think I feel better.
These guys do a little dance on the way up.
...Exor? Was...was this mentioned elsewhere? So you aren't Smithy? Ah crap.
But yes his eyes and mouth are capable of doing damage and protect the real Exor which is that thing at the top.
Taking out one eye makes him vulnerable.
Taking out the second makes him more prone to damage.
His mouth hangs open when it's dead.
OH KRONG HE'S EATING ME. SAVE ME KRONG. OR AT LEAST BLESS MY EQUIPMENT.
Nowhere pleasant.
Yeah I see you were somehow aware of this and when were you going to tell me?
He's not used to how RPGs work Geno, it's his first one.
DUDE!
Bowser is surprisingly sensitive.
You're a dumbass.
Hey an exit so we can stock up!
And a save point!
And fucking annoying enemies with one hit KO moves! THE RAGE FUELS ME FORWARD
The platforming is somewhat forgiving but is still a pain in the ass.
I am gonna punch Smithy so hard.
The button opens the path and invites the gross.
Another save block?
It's not as good as the Lazy Shell
...It's a talking clock.
Walked.
Take out the bells first. They bells do magic every turn while the clock only does group magic every so often.
Everytime he did that attack it missed Geno. GENO AIN'T GOT TIME FOR THIS
They're just throwing money at me.
I HAVE THE POWER
NOOOOOOO
Mass produced annoying fuckers. Smithy truly is an evil genius.
Carefully avoid the ghosts.
Today was a good day.
Hey guys remember Bowyer? Super fucking easy now.
Ninjas. Damn.
Hey full heal chests alright!
AHAHAHAHA SO MUCH POWER
Wheeeee
You guys are very bright.
We would like to play. Just not with you.
Kill the guy on the right first as he does a lot of group hit magic.
SNAKE SNAKE AAAAAA KILL IT WITH FIRE
Phew. Ok. we're good.
And hey full heal.
Judging from what I've seen it's shittier than the first one.
There are no other Marios. THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE
They go down in one hit.
He goes down in a few hits.
MY HEALER IS STRONGER THAN YOU
Progress probably.
Well something's happening.
You kinda deserved that one.
But...how does it know to... never mind
Oh geez.
HOW DID YOU GET HERE!
And you are. You heal me between battles.
I AM NOT ESCORTING YOU
Oh you're a shop. Good man!
GOOD MAN!
You stay here Toad.
You guys are making easy mooks.
They'll be a slight hinderance to the protagonist! Glorious plan!
Pffff hahaha
hahahahahahaha
AHAHAHAH
These guys are also easy.
Wow that was beautiful. Almost makes me feel bad for laughing. Almost.
GUYS! GUYS! IT'S THE DIRECTOR HE'S ALIVE! Man, we were worried about you after Skippy found you like that!
The Director? ... You're evil? But...but you were nice to us? Don't you remember us The Director?
...I think The Director is gone...
Why yes this does appear to be the origin of the production line.
...REDO
DERP
Yeah let me go replenish my items and we're good.
You got it!
Yes Mallow I have eyes.
Who the fuck else would be here? I mean besides the NPCs who can apparently teleport.
How would you know you're still in another dimension.
You don't sound that intimidating.
How about fuck you asshole?
Revolver Ocelot is that you?
UNFAIR
So as you can see the smelter on the wall stands out. Kill that first.
Because it spits out molten metal allowing him to smith.
ANNOYING MOOKS
WITH GROUP ATTACK
Alright Round One I wasn't doing damage fast enough to make up for item consumption. So I need a healer.
Peach, you're in.
And have this Lazy Shell armor so you live.
Smith will do this drain attack
and hit you with this hammer.
Peach's healing magic: saving so many items!
I WON
HOLY SHIT ARROW OUT OF NOWHERE
Yelling at the boss is not helping.
He pounds the floor.
They told you so.
AND I HATE YOU
Hello nightmares for the week, how the hell are ya?
Well there was the time the ninja chopped off your hand
Rave party! Unts-unts-unts-unts
AAAAAAAAAAAAA
I need an adult!
...Your head is a tank.
You head changes.
Now it's a wizard. The head transformations affect his stats. His defense is lowest in this form.
He also does all the annoying shit in this form.
Your head is a well defended coffin. I can attack your body? sweet.
Oh you're stuck in this form for awhile huh. Oh well.
Your head is an item box. GIVE ME YOUR GOODIES
I TAKE IT BACK I TAKE IT BACK I TAKE IT BACK
Does that mean I'm almost done with you?
OH NO NOT AGAIN
ABLUBLUBLUBLUB
YES YES YES
STOP THAT
Lazy Shell for max hilarity.
BELIEVE IT...I am so sorry
Yay fireworks!
FINAL STAR PIECE GET
Suddenly, rainbows!
Geno starts doing a dance with the stars.
MAGIC!
And now just a doll.
But wait! That sparkle comes out of the doll. Yes Geno in his true form.
Geno leads the stars off screen
And up to the clouds.
Exor disappears into pixels.
And there is once more a blue sunny day.
Oooh glowing.
Mallow is back home.
Bowser repairs his keep...and someone steals his car.
Johnathan Jones gazes at a sunset.
Croco makes the friend he deserves.
Toadofsky makes his song and Frogfucius joins in.
A wedding!
Or not.
Thank you Mario.
And now a parade led by Luigi!
Mario and Peach bring up the rear and Geno says hi again.
And that closes the book on Super Mario RPG. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did and I'll see you next time.
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