Well time to leave home and head to Onett!
PISS OFF
I will eat that cookie.
Alright let's get a full heal and a drink and then we'll hit Onett.
MOTHER FUCKER
OK Here! Road!
WILL YOU STOP THAT.
ONETT!
My fourth wall! I just fixed that!
Free map? Aces!
This is a terrible library. Gimme map.
Well I'll be.
No comment.
...
Seems logical, Captain.
Uhhh...
The other people in here take 20 sentences to say this: there are phones and ATMs in stores and hotels. Green phones cost $1, black phones are free.
Coming up here, some guy quickly rushes into the men's room. So no bathroom investigation for us.
Nerd:
I'd only seen it in the encyclopedia before. What was it? A Magic butterfly! If you get close to a Magic butterfly, all your cares fly away, just like a fluttering butterfly.
Apparently that's code for PP recovery.
Yay, useful info.
I don't see any harm.
Let's squirrel our way through the trees to the tree house.
Cool Kid:
I know you've wanted it for a long time. It's the best cap for someone really brave like you.
YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON.
Aren't we like 9?
Oh no. OK very carefully engage the new thing.
Oh. HOLY CRAP WE CAN TALK TO MOLES.
Sure.
Mr. Resetti:
If you allow enemies to approach you from your back or side, they may get a surprise opening attack.
Dammit!
Mr. Resetti:
On the other hand, if you approach an enemy from the back or side, you may get a surprise opening attack.
YOU OWE ME A WALL MOLE MAN.
And my attempts fail. Grey means neutral.
MOOSE one shots these things now.
Woo!
Oh, baby! Offense went up by 4! Speed went up by 1! Guts went up by 1! Luck went up by 2! Maximum HP went up by 2!
Happy dance!
FUCKERS.
That is the miracle of the Mr. Baseball cap.
Umm, hello strange beings?
Ah yes this is my stop.
Why do we have this? I mean it's nice and all but I didn't see any theaters or anything in town.
Fuck.
Double fuck.
Cookies for the Cookie god!
Dear Krong so many cookies.
My skin will turn blue and fuzzy at this rate.
Is that why I had to stomp all over them to read this sign?
Nice dead end.
After banging on several doors, MOOSE finds a door he can open.
...So much for friendly chit chat.
Ooh, ooh that's me!
Well, if I haven't murdered any of those children, that'll make me special.
Now normally I would judge MOOSE hardcore for this.
But you can't argue with those numbers.
Sigh, yes yes I'll get there eventually.
I'll be right back.
Wow. Such doge. Much possess. Very spoopy.
Game Doge:
When you go to a store that has equitable items, this window will either flash, look normal or become black. If you are allowed to equip and item, and it is stronger than your current item, the window will flash. If the item's power is equal to, or less than your current equipped item, the window looks normal. If you can't equip an item, the window is black.
Good dog, best friend.
Dude she lives up the road, I just saw here like 10 or 20 minutes ago.
Thanks, dad that's all I needed to hear.
Yes I will equip the bat of goodness.
Such a beautiful number.
I LOVE YOU GAME.
Hmm, the flashing box says I can wear that but I don't want to drain all my money yet.
Status item: buy early so we don't die.
What's in here?
Why are you whispering smile smile? That's a good song, sing loud and proud.
I get a burger and fries. Because you don't always need a full heal.
My shiny new bat says I'm a-ok.
This thing exists. You now have this knowledge. And now you will never see him again.
Oh, I'll check that out in a bit.
Yeah this place is bananas.
Game you so silly. MY GODDAMN WALL.
Boo!
Signed the Fresh Breeze Movement. That sounds pleasant.
That was a yes or no questions for no prize.
Ah, a fellow Daily Show fan!
This hotel has a black phone.
This hotel is also a waste of space.
Way ahead of you, Poochy.
Yes yes game.
The death mechanic!
Buh?
Is our mayor a dog and/or a snake?
Ah, government work. Exactly how I remember it.
What? No, we're just a bunch of 9(?) year olds hanging in a tree house. Sometimes we play baseball.
Don't you fucking touch my tree house, I have a bat and I'm not afraid to use it.
You're dumb!
And you're ruining the movement with your dumb!
Boo.
Please spoil more for me so I can be prepared and not die.
MOOSE then runs up the stairs. The secretary claims he yelled YOLO but MOOSE denies it.
YES GAME I WILL HANDLE IT
I GUESS I AM
He then chases MOOSE downstairs and the secretary does nothing.
Psychic powers! We don't use the m-word in this game.
To the west, to the west.
He plays a couple awesome notes.
Want to? Yes. Can? No.
Those exist?
Lady:
Or..."Mushroomized," where you have a mushroom on your head...If you're ever stuck with these types of embarrassing conditions, we of the magic healing shrine are here to ease your pain. We're ready and waiting... in the lobby of hospitals all of the world. The person next to me is the great teacher of magic healing.
What the fuck is that guy?
Is that a robot?
HA. HAHA. No.
And scenic Onett Police Station.
I think you mean paranoid.
Subtle.
This place is lame.
I smell trouble! I must confiscate all your goods to solve the trouble!
What's a metaphor?
Insert dirty joke here.
EW!
NO FUCK YOU COTTAGE CHEESE IS NASTY
Now that you've said that, I'm going to get assaulted by vegetable soup.
Talking to people multiple times can reveal more about their character. Talking to people multiple times can reveal more about their character. Talking to people multi-
mmm bready goodness.
mmm cookie.
You bastards, this poor guy just wants to go home!
Squeezed through one earlier.
I suppose.
Why do I doubt you?
Oh that's why.
The pogo punk falls off his pogo stick fairly regularly. MOOSE can take these guys out in two hits.
And this guys is competent.
Sometimes the pogo punks are too.
But then they do this and lose all cred.
I relish beating the stuffing out of these guys.
FUCK OFF COOKIE.
Little bit.
HE CALLED HIS BUDDY.
HI HULAING ASSHOLE BUDDY
VICTORY!
Defense went up by 1! Vitality went up by 1! IQ went up by 1! Maximum HP went up by 13! Maximum PP went up by 5!
It's a drinkable cookie!
Mmm pizza.
Well let's get a full heal before the boss.
MONEY
FUCKING CROWS
Oh right this guy.
Why is my trouble radar beeping?
Well how big are the nuggets this time?
HOLY HELL.
Nah, dude you found that fair and square. And besides, I have violence to help me.
Now before when we checked things it was "No problem here." Methinks something fishy happening.
Oh bracelet. You may be cheap, but you're beautiful.
Dammit I did not say this was a party!
And here we find the inventory limit. A thing I'm happy is gone except when developer's bang their heads on their desks too much.
Well, let's get this over with.
Why?
Because I'm finding this profitable.
But he doesn't want to fight. Huh.
HAHAAHAHA NO.
Now I'm going to wait a minute as I saw there was an upstairs.
Surprisingly well adjusted.
Ew, not from you.
Yes. And then I sell back old equipment.
Spanky? The fuck?
Hooray.
DAMMIT. Yeah I left to save because well boss fight and this happened.
STOP HITTING ME.
Offense went up by 1! Speed went up by 1! Guts went up by 1! Maximum HP went up by 2!
Well a level's a level.
Instead of running back home I just eat and replenish a burger.
I'm sorry your friend is distracting me. Does he happen to have a chicken friend?
WHOA NELLY.
GOOD GRAVY. MOOSE IS NINE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.
PSI Hypnosis buying me a turn.
To fix my damage.
This is one of his alternate moves.
Which he used twice in a row...
And I promptly started getting less damage.
His normal attack.
Thankfully, he was nearly dead.
I can handle this...
OW MY ORGANS.
Thankfully he does nothing every other turn.
Hypnosis did nothing!
STOP THAT.
Aware. It's mine.
Yes that's me.
I look forward to it.
They are a dead fuck.
I know.
I KNOW THATS WHY I BEAT YOU UP.
MOOSE has had enough of this bullshit for one day and pours himself a shot, steeling himself for bureaucracy hell.
And MOOSE made bank this episode.
Next time: To Giant's Step we go.
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