That's probably the sanest thing the game has ever said. Anyway we aren't here for free heals (well I am) we're here for sub.
Game you've broken the fourth wall a dozen time. You aren't fooling anyone.
Alright TESLA!
One musical journey later.
Never enough heals!
So the water here is deep.
And this water is even deeper and feel of something that hurts. This place is stupid.
But it has this guy! MOAR ROCKETS!
We need not throwing banana! Seriously, our inventory is full and we have better items.
By the way we're taking the darkness out of Deep Darkness. So now it's just Deep.
You never know. Also it's not like that handling fee hurts me.
Oh no. No it can't be.
FUCK. YOU. NATURE.
Owwww.
Wooo!
Oh, baby! Offense went up by 4! Defense went up by 1! Speed went up by 1! Guts went up by 2! Vitality went up by 2! IQ went up by 2! Oh, baby! Luck went up by 4! Sweet! Maximum HP went up by 24! Maximum PP went up by 7!
Again!
Offense went up by 1! IQ went up by 1! Luck went up by 1! Maximum HP went up by 3! Maximum PP went up by 3!
Ha! I'm good at this game!
Contrary to what this looks like it wasn't that specific petunia that did this. That petunia also had an eel partner. We shove some ramen down TESLA's throat and he's fine.
And then we use the piggy nose!
If you're close to one you get the vague message I got. As you get closer it gives you directions.
I JUST. WANT THE BOX. PLEASE LEAVE.
TESLA got the last one, so it's INKY's turn.
...Deep Darkness wasn't a metaphor for extinction and apparently Tendas are real. I owe a man an apology. Eh fuck it saving the world.
POOOOKEEEEY. WHERE ARE YOU.
Missing as in buried or missing as in Pokey is hauling an engine around with him for some reason?
Hey we made up for the fuck up.
Cheeeeaaaap.
Ha!
Oh, baby! Offense went up by 3! Defense went up by 1! Speed went up by 2! Vitality went up by 1! IQ went up by 2! Luck went up by 1! Maximum HP went up by 11!
Hello!
Yeah Defense!
Yeah Levels!
Maximum HP went up by 1!
Offense went up by 2! Defense went up by 1! Speed went up by 2! Maximum HP went up by 2! Maximum PP went up by 5!
Candy!
The only way out is through pain.
No. No it can't be. The game wouldn't be that sick.
FUUUUUUUU
I hate you. I hate you. I hate you so much.
So this is his trick.
And this is the solution.
And TESLA had feelings about his predicament.
And they had a discussion.
And then some asshole on the street joined the discussion even though he had no business being here.
And he started ruining everything.
BUT THEN WIR SIND DIE JÄGER
And then everything was fine.
Booray! Wait Booray? you ask. Yes booray. I'll explain in a moment.
Offense went up by 1! Defense went up by 2! Speed went up by 1! Guts went up by 1! Vitality went up by 1! IQ went up by 1! Luck went up by 1! Maximum HP went up by 9! Maximum PP went up by 2!
And just like that EREN is back. No dialogue. No explanation. He's just here. And I'm fine with that.
Anyway this weapon is a total booray.
A good chance meaning like 75% of the time. The name comes from "Casey at the Bat" which you may know as the poem about a baseball game and all hope riding on best batter ever Casey who then strikes out like the complete chump he is. So yeah this bat can hit for lots of damage. If it hits. Ever. I don't recommend this.
Hooray EREN still has all his things.
The swamp has wild xp sacks.
Offense went up by 1! Speed went up by 1! Guts went up by 2! Vitality went up by 2! Oh, baby! IQ went up by 3! Luck went up by 2! Sweet! Maximum HP went up by 22! That rocks! Maximum PP went up by 15!
Guts went up by 1! Maximum HP went up by 1!
Offense went up by 1! Defense went up by 1! Maximum HP went up by 2! Maximum PP went up by 2!
Yay the exit!
Hello?
Oh um ok. How about you?
I'm sensing a theme here.
Hey the telephone works!
HOLY SHIT.
TESLA can now be a mad scientist.
Never enough free heals.
Hey a hot spring too!
What're you selling?
Dammit.
Really cuz the inn guy seemed perfectly happy to talk.
I owe 2 men apologies. But saving the world so fuck it.
There are gossip stones? I gotta see this.
You tease.
WELL THIS IS FUCKING GREAT.
Alright what's your story?
Well...the only place I can think of where books might be is Onett. There's a library there. Let's go outside and teleport.
AAAA THE RINGING. IT COMES FOR ME!
Goddammit. HOW DO I CHANGE THE RINGTONE ON THIS THING?
Tell him he's a wonderful maniac for me.
Oh.
...Of course I'll need that.
Pardon?
Oh. Oh shit.
More ringing? Oh maybe it's the kidnappers calling for a ransom.
OH NO ITS WORSE!
Yeah that's great listen I gotta go-
Yeah I just talked-
Yeah I know-
Of course. Of fucking course.
I hate that guy.
To Winters! We have SCIENCE to save!
Oh goddammit. WE TELEPORTED TO THE WRONG END.
Oh good we have a solution.
INVENTORY MANAGEMENT: THE GAME
Oh right you're the boss around here.
What!? TESLA's boyfriend too!?
WE'RE ON A MISSION.
These aren't goats...
Nope, not goats. Not much of a problem either.
Chaos. I blame Discord.
Free heals!
What!? But I'm not even connected to you people! well only tangentially...I MEAN THIS CERTAINLY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME AT ALL
DO NOT SLANDER TESSIE
Heals~
People of the internet, back by plot and my personal demand:
TESSIE!
eeeeee
eeehehehe
Awww it's over.
Hey look what I can do
Fuck you brick road
Offense went up by 1! Maximum HP went up by 3!
Oh right. There was a second cave. Sigh.
Ok this is really fun.
Dear Past Me: Hey thanks! Signed, Future You.
And out.
And the bears are surprisingly hearty.
What did they look like, small mouse?
He felt like five Solid Snakes, I see.
Plot machine get.
Holy shit money.
Next time: We save people!
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