Well here we are again. Back in a space ship trying to save the galaxy and getting blown up for our trouble. But there was a very substantial update with a lot of cool shit so let's get to it.
Our crew. This is my default crew from my first Mass Effect 1 run where I played a Paragon Soldier Shepard. I called it the Amazon Squad.
And that game was where I had the headcanon that Shepard doesn't have any kind of driver's license but when you're awesome enough they just let you drive the Mako anyway.
There are many seat belts on this Kestrel.
Well this is standard.
And that's obnoxious. PS Always turn on the ability to see the connections between dots. Because of shit like that.
Ah, the first victim. DIE SLAVER SCUM.
The traditional go to strategy of "You don't need that oxygen."
Your offering suffices. Greetings Dengler!
You get to run the shields!
That store is mocking me.
Our first new event! Sadly I'm cash strapped at the moment so let's fend for ourselves.
It was boring. Hey someone needs help.
Sure, I got fuel to spare.
I love you. This is our first new result. Instead of giving you stuff, there's a chance people will give you cheap/free upgrades. This is a good trade.
Hey we found this even again. Let's bribe.
Woo free stuff! PS free stuff is not always a guarantee. The first time I found this event, I got shot.
But now we can do something very important: Upgrade our doors. Seriously. I always do that first because the doors stop fires and intruders.
No no no!
Good news: that drone isn't the "shoot your missiles down" drone. I can't remember what that drone is exactly but that's not important.
Because they blew up. Yay!
And welcome to our first new area. I think. I don't think pulsars were in the old version.
Anyway, pulsars. They send out ion blasts that hit you and the other ship.
They are incredibly annoying.
Yes please. 5 fuel is nothing to sneeze at and it gets me out of here faster.
Stuff?
Dammit.
Now it's stuff.
Poor Tali is apparently favorite target of the enemy.
Sensors: They aren't a priority but they can unlock some fun options.
Fuck nebulas. Nebulas can die in a fire.
To the Zoltan!
I smell trouble!
Oh trouble's gone. Woo stuff!
Upgrades~
These guys have an annoying super shield that you have to take out before you get regular shields. They do not recharge, but they did make me waste a missile.
Also Zoltans explode when they die. Sadly they took out our cameras so you don't get to see.
Money!
So we can have our second shield!
Fine I'll play in the death cloud.
I don't normally do this, but I'm using this as an insurance policy in case of Bad Shit and I need Shepard do to something.
I'm feeling lucky.
Woo money. The healing burst is probably the bottom of my weapon list.
Gimme money
Want that Flak! Flak launches debris and is very useful.
There's a bunch of cool stuff here. Unfortunately, we're poor.
No. My explosions.
Fix it.
NEBULAS CAN DIE. I'LL PLAY WITH THE MURDER BUGS.
Ugh fine.
AAAAAAAAAAA
Got there!
We're fine. We're fine. Fire bad.
Oh come on.
Everybody in the pool!
All better! ... Why am I using Tali to fix things instead of Dengler?
All the places.
NOT IN THE MOOD.
HOPE YOU DON'T NEED THAT OXYGEN.
Speaking of oxygen.
Help? I can help!
Oooh blue options
Yay we made it better!
Yay powered oxygen!
Sure!
Oh. That was easy.
Winning!
Super medbay!
Eh, rather not.
I'm feeling lucky.
DAMMIT. WHY DID I DO THAT. IT ALWAYS BLOWS UP.
WE HATE YOU PLEASE DIE
Engi! We have an Engi! Let's be friends!
Better. Though I wish I could afford those lasers.
I help!
Dengler help!
More helping!
LIES!
Haha no
Engines are powered fully and I add one to the weapons in case we get a new one/so we can still use ours even if we get shot.
Fix the crews' boo-boos.
Is good deal.
Holy money!
Always defend.
This guy has beams. And two drones. One of which is beam. This is not a problem.
Saving my shields.
If I was doing this for fun I'd be noping the fuck away from that abandoned sector. Those places can be so cruel. But I'm going to show it just for you.
BEE LINE FOR THAT EXIT.
A blue option? Here? I am...very not used to that.
Money! And didn't fight the Lanius!
Store? Here? I AM VERY CONFUSED GAME
I CAN BUY LANIUS CREW!?
First things first, gimme flak.
Now gimme Lanius.
Welcome Hutz.
As you can see, Hutz kills oxygen so he can't be with the others. Also, doors and cameras now have a bonus for being manned. Doors get a level.
As do cameras. I keep him in the camera room.
Oh and I fix myself up a bit.
Buh? I'm not complaining that this section hasn't involved the horrible death, but I'm so not used to this. Lanius can be a bit difficult to beat.
AUGMENT!
Decent augment!
We're helping!
Dengler is helping!
Guys you can just join my crew! It'll be fun!
No don't punch Hutz! He gets cranky!
And then he sucks the air out!
Aww, they'll be missed.
I'm feeling lucky!
DAMMIT!
Hutz got cranky again.
Hutz sent a message via Liara to their oxygen system.
Yes I will take your stuff.
And we're good.
Explosions make everything better!
WOO!
Oh dammit.
I wish I could afford this. Mind Control is super fun and causes all the chaos.
Gimme money.
Trying to get to the open air.
Found trouble. Do not engage.
Hey! Hey! I just fixed that!
Using Mind Control is cheating! It's not cheating when I do it because I have a Mind Control license! No I didn't steal that from Harbinger!
YOU ARE NOT INVITED TO THE PARTY. THIS IS CREW ONLY PARTY. YOU AREN'T ON THE LIST.
RUN AWAY
DO NOT ENGAGE
WE STILL HAVE ISSUES.
SHEPARD! NOOOOOOO
DIE DIE DIE DIE
What do I do? Shepard was THE pilot. Everyone else is too good at their job. Wait... their job.
Hutz has a job. His job is to fix things. Fix the piloting Hutz. Take control. Fix it all. Make us whole again.
Let's go say hi to the Dengler family.
That's not the Dengler family! That is the Bad News Bears!
We came to an agreement.
Owww
Dammit! I have places to go!
There in particular!
While nice,
and also while very nice,
they would do me no good if my ship fell apart.
We're OK.
Please let there be stuff.
Woo stuff!
Let's help Dengler's friends.
Oh myyy.
I...um...well...we've hit maximum awkward capacity let's uh let's just go.
...You aren't Shepard.
But you'll do Xemu. You'll do.
Man those doors until Hutz dies. Nobody gets in.
Here we go.
You uh, wanna give me more stuff? No? Poo.
Alright we are here, they are there, let's get em
Repairs~
Things!
I know what I'm doing.
Hello practice.
We have enough
FOR THREE SHIELDS AHAHA
We aren't full health. I doubt that'd matter much. Let's do it.
THAT'S CHEATING TOO. MOSTLY BECAUSE IT IS VERY ANNOYING.
Eh I'm willing to forgive the hacking. I'd be doing it too and it isn't the hardest to overcome. Still annoying though
WE'RE WAITING!
OW PISS
WE'RE FINE. EVERYTHING IS FINE
I MIGHT'VE LIED ABOUT EVERYTHING BEING FINE
OWW MY EVERYTHING
JUST A LITTLE MORE
Ka-boom.
Well that was fun. Very close too. GG rebels, GG.
See you next time!
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