It says you've been paying attention to my previous LP history.
D'oh I left the umbrella in the time machine.
In here is nice and cozy. I like it. Less wet. Though I don't know if I should be concerned by the robot.
And here we have our title screen. Welcome to Penny Arcade's really long title. Episode One and Two were made by Hot Head. Three was made by Zeboyd. I plan on doing all three. I have played these before as you can see by Insane Mode being unlocked. No we aren't doing that. Because it's actually been awhile since I've played these. Anyway let's jump in.
Do not want.
Want. Also enjoy pretending people are trying to say my name.
One pan sequence later, we finally end up with our character on a lovely morning in front of our perfect house.
I'll say, there's nothing remotely suspicious happening yet.
Well I am now that you've brought it up!
So Narrator Man doesn't like that our yard is messy. It won't take long to clean up. Also we live in the saddest place ever apparently.
Dum-dee-dum
What made the screen rattle?
Could it be?
The plot!
Hooray you found us!
Well that was uncalled for!
Hey! Don't just walk away! You fucked up my house!
Hey you two, stop the robot!
Well now what?
Oh, I know.
I'll follow those two.
And then I'll fucking destroy a robot. I really don't have much else to do.
Oh that sounds fun Narrator Man. Can I have a rain check?
Killing robots isn't dark work. Hell, this is less dark than what I had Skippy doing.
No I didn't see my house disappear under its foot.
Let's not touch that then.
Our neighbor had some concept art in his mailbox. I relieved him of it.
They look kinda cute.
That is just wrong! They aren't cute anymore.
Hold on I don't speak Cylon let me pop this into the translator.
AND GOODBYE.
The binary is both speech bubbles is "fuck" and now you know.
A combat tutorial. This combat tutorial goes much better than previous tutorials.
This blocking tutorial does not.
You heal between battles. And now we have some parts, used to upgrade weapons.
The fireworks held nothing but it made the world prettier.
KITTEH WE ARE GONNA BE FRIENDS!
After I get this album out of the mailbox. NOW THE FRIENDSHIP CAN COMMENCE.
Is it because I lack food because I'm sure I can fix that.
NAY CAT WAIT...I mean nay cat wait.
Luvvins for kitty, oh yes, whose a good kitty.
NEW FRIEND SUCCESS.
More art in mailboxes! Hey wait, I see more friends.
That's what I just said!
But I wanted to make friends.
THESE AREN'T FRIENDS.
I'm guessing the damage came from seeing T. Kemper's butt.
Me too, but the attack title leads me to believe he'll either do that or do a TPK.
Ah, a very useful tool indeed. As now the robots will stop humping my leg
THE ROBOTS KNOW OUR LANGUAGE THEY'RE GETTING SMARTER DIE DIE DIE.
Hey that works. Not bad at all.
I can kill better! Yay!
More precious art.
Our special attack brings up this spinner. Hit the space bar when the arrow hits the colored part.
If you are successful...
Robots explode. OK you do a lot of damage and can cause bleeding if it doesn't make them explode.
Killing things with our special attack gets us overkill damage. They gives us an extra boost to our attack.
Hey guys! What'cha doin?
As do I.
Gabe. No.
Precisely!
That job sounds awesome. Can I get in on that gig?
And are there benefits?
I am not invisible! Last I checked...nope still visible.
Considering you punch devils I'd think so too.
Sounds fun. Like Call of Cthulu only with obviously less cycling through PCs.
I'll be sure to keep that in mind.
Anyway the matter at hand...
Murder reasons. Duh.
I have a rake and I'm not afraid to use it!
Indeed, sir.
Yes a minor vocab lesson. Hitting things with rake?
bow chicka wow wow?
Huzzah!
The huzzah has been doubled!
Gabe punches things a lot and has gusto. Tycho is a sensible man with a tommy gun. They fight crime.
Here we get our lesson in team work.
Death from above!
And now we have to roll for initiative. I really like this. Mostly because I was a role player. And 20s are special. There are no 20s this time.
Dammit T. Kemper.
Bye, Narrator Man.
Gesundheit.
And with a title drop, he's off.
And now we have Gabe asking questions.
Questions he should've asked a long time ago.
Well let's do that name first.
Well he's got one thing at least.
Hey, that's an excellent explanation.
I made that face too, little avatar.
I approve!
Onwards!
Is she summoning devils or eldritch abominations? Because if yes ABORT MISSION. If no, then mummy and I have nothing to worry about.
And look, she wants to loan me her music.
That was one of the highlights he gave as his business yes.
Anne-Claire is easily the most adorable character in this series.
And she's smart too.
Does this unit have a soul?
Well it's currently bigger than my lodgings.
That's not complex that's just family.
A really big fun word! Not as fun as "defenestration" though. Or "octopodes."
His loss. I prefer dungeons myself, but to each their own.
And business.
Yeah, we're not in a fight and there's no apparent therapists, so give me a minute.
Well she tried to be sympathetic.
Right. Robots.
Not if someone has an assembly line.
They hump things they shouldn't and stomp on toes!
I like this plan!
Adventure ho!
Hold it!
Gabe isn't one for fancy talk.
See above. It's how lit majors win arguments.
Because it's fun!
Does that mean I'm in the club?
Also above Anne-Claire's window is another piece of art for us.
I really like this menu. Here we can do all kinds of things, like see the map, look at dossiers, hang with Jim and roll this D20.
Which on 20s makes the robot explode. It's very satisfying.
I think the name is quite self-explanatory.
Hello, strange man, what is the word on the street?
That's enough introduction
Really? You somehow all missed the hulking monstrosity?
That's not how that works!
I'd hate to see what it was before.
What.
Why be reasonable when you can be petty and passive aggressive.
Interesting name.
That's an...odd thing.
I'm certain we will.
Before going onward, let's check out Gabe's special ability. At this part you mash the space bar.
Then you have to hit it when it's in the green bar.
And if you're a fuck up partial damage happens.
Mime?
Well I could state the obvious or I could advance the plot a bit.
Boo.
I volunteer...Gabe to touch it.
Tycho I volunteered Gabe for that.
Or it's oil. 50/50 chance on that.
I would not call this sauce.
By the way it stinks.
Tried to warn you.
Don't worry I'm sure we can fix it...maybe...possibly.
Science is fun!
Oh it did. But it was really hot so I didn't touch it.
We'll manage.
I said it was oil!
It's really bad oil.
Hey I have some of those!
Smart move.
He's like a kid on Christmas.
Fantastic!
Well we're out of scrap so let's move onward.
Mimes?
Is that actually a thing?
Yeah, that's what I thought.
20!
20s let you start with your super attack.
Dammit T. Kemper.
No, the orange tree!
Whoa.
Yeah, I can see that.
There are many things we can say to this mime. None make him break his silence. We can't do anything with him so let's go.
Fruit:Fruit Fucker::Invisible Box:Mime.
Tycho finally levels up.
And we unlike his special attack. It's an arrow game.
Well aware.
Ew, ew, ew, no.
I'm with Gabe.
We have a thingy I don't wanna touch.
"nestled"
Can you teach me?
I'm guessing that's a no?
So what about that other thing I don't wanna touch.
Oh that's not a good thing.
I'm with you.
Oooh, options.
Yeah, but don't worry we've got it covered.
Oh god, I've caught Gabism!
Ooh, shiny!
Hooray!
New friend forever!
And with that I leave you with a choice, deciding the path of short-term destiny. Shall we press further into Hobo Alley? Or perhaps Pelican Bay is more to your liking? Dear reader, it is for you to decide whether murdering hobos or mimes is more fun for you.
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