Monday, April 15, 2013

FTL Attempt 1: Hey Ground Control? Everything is Wrong.

 This game is amazing. A space-exploring rogue-like. Tons of events where there are multiple results for each decisions. And some pretty amazing and hard to get secrets.
 We'll be doing this with the basic human ship which I have named in an appropriate fashion. Along for the ride is Captain Moose, Shield Operator Goose, and Weapons Specialist Seanbob. Mind you they don't have these specialties yet but they will learn. By doing.
 While running away from assholes who want to blow us up of course! There's a war going on here and we need to get to command!
 I always invest in an extra energy bar at the beginning so I can fully power all my starting equipment.
 And here we are in our areas. You can't see anything because the nebula we're starting in blocks sensors. Nebulas ARE THE ENEMY. A GREATER ENEMY THAN THE REBELS.
 I would like to see which direction I'm jumping, thank you.
 No we don't have extra missiles. These are my missiles. Mine.
 Fuck you too map.
 NOBODY INVITED YOU.
 That red fist over engines means some buggy assholes have teleported onto our ship and are punching it.
 THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR TOUCHING MY SHIP.
 I loot the room...I mean ship.
 That's enough money to do something important.
 Blast doors. Blast doors slow the spread of fire and stop enemies from just waltzing from place to place.
 Somebody is in trouble! Let's help them!
 Of course we'll help!
 Give me your money! We're traumatized too.
 And I may want to invest in an auto pilot. It's important dammit!
 Shop!
 ...might as well.
 OH KRONG NO. NOT THE FUCKING SOLAR FLARE AREA.
 NOBODY LIKES YOU
 OK, OK, we can do this. We just have to kill him quick and then we can jump.
 OH FUCK IT GOT THE OXYGEN.
 FIX IT SEANBOB FIX IT
 RUN RUN TO THE SHOP FAR AWAY FROM FLARES.
 GIVE ME SOME TIME SHOP.
 OH KRONG OH KRONG OH KRONG
 That. Doesn't. Count.
DO IT AGAIN.
 oooh potential for free stuff.
 You're a dick game.
 I learned how to surrender from the Athenians: Why would I stop, I'm winning.
 And I got basically the same deal. Good show.
 Leave those civvies alone!
 So many goodies!
 Ahh good upgrades.
 I guess I don't have the drone parts they're looking for.
 Tuco? pfff...hehehehe
 GET BACK HERE WUSSY
 There are certain options that only unlock with upgraded sensors. Plus it gives them an extra hit.
 Sigh.
 You were saying?
 Get myself a spare bar.
 I don't know what a Quarantine Level 5 is and I don't want to find out.
 Give me your stuff!
 This is the primary benefit of the upgraded sensors. I can see where the people are and aim for them.
 Yay stuff! Hey guys does the air smell funny to you?
 OH SHIT.
 SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT
 ...DO IT AGAIN
Gee thanks for the tip game.
 Someone needs saving already? I can fix it!
 ...DIE DIE DIE
 NOPE DYING.
 My deal was better.
 For goodies!
 I like the sound of that augment.
 Oooh this will be really good...if I ever get cloaking.
 Also, a new game plan. More power to the oxygen system. Gives it an extra hit.
 If you power it up it also resupplies oxygen faster.
 I'm good thanks.
 FUCK YOU GAME
 YOU DIE
 OH THANK KRONG ITS RIGHT BY THE AIRLOCK.
 New cushy chair!
 GEE THANKS GAME.
 I don't.
 ...HATRED
 PANIC
 FIX IT FIX IT FIX IT
 FIX ME
 Much better.
 Halt Evildoer!
 Excellent! More lasers! The only thing better than lasers!
 I seeeee you
 I like this system!
 Dont mind me just giving myself more power.
 DIE SCUM.
 ooh they're Rocks. Rocks are hard to kill.
 ...Well I do need more hands...
 Welcome aboard Bloch. Let me show you where the engine room is, Engineer.
 I HAVE NO QUARREL WITH YOU
 Yarr!
 Do you guys smell something?
 OH POOP.
 As much as I want to shoot you, just give me the money.
 I've got a fire to put out.
 And a medbay to fancy up.
 Friendlies!
 Hey I like this event. It can have nice results.
 Or it can be a dick. Why would I expect anything else?
 THATS A LOT OF THINGS PUNCHING THINGS.
I don't think I should play anymore today...

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