We left off in Zombieland. But maybe, just maybe, this can be someone else's problem.
Like this guy.
Fffffine
Nopenopenope
I am going to buy this cookie. It better not make me one of you.
He just ran over to talk to his buddy. Not sketch at all.
Pirates generally aren't.
Maybe this isn't the traditional zompocalypse but a voodoo curse.
Helpful zombie!
OK let's go find the elder, we're getting into "itchy tasty" territory here.
HOW DO YOU KNOW I DON'T TRUST ANY OF YOU
BULLSHIT
You're...well articulated...what's the catch?
Oh we're back to bullshit land.
Why?
After I loot your house.
Oh, congratulations.
I WANT ALL OF THESE BUT LACK FUNDS
Guess we come back here later.
And I dream of the sea...
What're you sellin?
You sell good stuff!
...Haunted pirate ship? THIS KINGDOM IS JUST BAD NEWS
Meet the enemies of this area. They aren't terrible but the starfish can poison.
Oh and Bowser's Hurly Glovers literally throw Mario.
It's like a minefield.
I believe this chest is either coins or shrooms.
These have both healings and a frog coin.
And this is my favorite.
Let's go swimming and beat up some bloopers.
SO MUCH POWER
This won't be stupid at all!
I hate everything this implies.
Puzzles? I love puzzles! Show me the puzzles!
I'm up to it!
Meet Drybones. One hit of magic does them in. But they are endlessly respawning.
Ah puzzles! Puzzle one is make the paratroopa knock a cannon ball onto a switch.
Well that's something.
This one you stop the spring in the right place to bounce a cannon ball to the switch.
Hmm....basalt?
This is a lot of random jumping and stumbling.
Soooo good.
So far so "basalt"
Here are the ghosts and the big guy. The big guy is easy to deal with, use magic.
Geno is so BAMF
Stop tempting me I have good strategy.
Hey!
...Shut up and sell me stuff.
So this one involves chasing the the coins but don't catch the lead coin until the end and don't miss any coins. After about 10 times of fucking up the last jump, I stopped.
This one involves hitting the blocks at the right time.
Still "basalt"
And the last puzzle.
Get barrel on button, stand on other switch.
THAT IS NOT BASALT.
I don't like the look of that.
I've seen enough hentai...
HOLY GENO WHIRL AQUAMAN
What's after tentacles?
MORE TENTACLES
What does this do anyway?
It's adorable! It's also healing!
And then the face.
Oh that spring is not a good sign.
SEE THIS THING!? THIS THING IS MURDER! DO NOT ENGAGE!
Crabcore!
SHARKS!
Oh Krong here comes the horrible toothy death
Well that was...surprisingly easy...I'll take it.
I'll take those too.
You stepped on him.
Shhhh
Hi I'm Jumpman, dodging barrels is my bread and butter.
Run button.
Here take a deep breath and hold it.
If everything that ended up in my room was mine, I wouldn't have friends anymore.
What else is new?
So he has munchkins as well as being chock full of HP. I call this cheating.
AND THEN THIS.
So Mario steps up...
So those two "fight" his guys and it's one on one for us. Slow and painful one on one.
I'm feeling lucky.
Bird bird bird!
So close.
Let's check on the zombies.
The voodoo priest who cast this spell?
HAHAHAHAH
...bullshit.
I thought this game was E for Everyone!
Oh phew.
Bullshit.
Nope. BULLSHIT.
Gee thanks for "thou musting" this game. WHY AREN'T I JUMPING ON THEIR HEADS.
"genius"
AAHAHAHHAHAHAH
Yo.
Johnny!
Please do!
I AM PERFECTLY FINE WITH YOU HANDLING THIS.
Epilepsy Flash Activate!
Suddenly asshole!
This guy has three strategies. 1) Group attacks 2) Make a double and 3) combine 1 and 2. Prepare for lots of item use and no easy way out.
Pictured: Geno passed out, victory. Not pictured: How hard I was flipping off the screen.
Star get for realzies this time!
Two more boss fights at least.
Aw, poop.
Well that was nice.
Hey buddy. Sorry the game wasn't clear on how to progress.
GAME I WILL END YOU
All the stores are standard except these two.
Fuck going back there.
An interesting idea there.
But next time, we'll live Seaside Town and figure out where to go next.
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