I can what now?
Scotland. My how you've shrunk.
My what big penalties you have.
MIIIIINE
AHAHAHA
It's nothing personal. It's just for good measure.
Not even un-invented Batman can stop me!
Now saunter through the countryside faster.
FASTER!
Wow little guy you are more unpopular than me.
FASTER FASTER
I'm bad at this.
So much win!
Hey that's cheating! I'm the only one allowed to cheat!
Come on gang all together.
SIEGE FASTER POKEY
Marvelous! What a way to pay me back for getting Scotland for your child who is my grandson. I mean you.
Excellent!
Almost...almost...
Whoa whoa whoa nobody else is invited to this party.
Phew before they got here.
Hmm something's happening.
OY!
THIS IS WHY I SHOULDVE CONQUERED YOU A LONG TIME AGO
Riiiight
Stop sieging them and save my ass.
Alright guys hurry this up we're on a deadline.
WOO
I...I can do this. For the first time I'm calling the shots. This is amazing!
WONDERFUL THINGS HAVE HAPPENED
Let's make sure the Scottish bloke knows who's boss.
WELL IF YOU LEARNED TO SIEGE FASTER YOU WOULDNT BE HAVING THIS ISSUE
I'll show you how its done
Fetch me some taxes Scotch man!
Wow my neighbors are all stripes.
I'm awesome.
SOON
Just look at those stripes.
I died. Long live me.
Awww no duchy.
OUR SON IS A PRINCE WE DID IT RIGHT.
Fun fact. None of these kids listen to me because my wife outranks me.
And that's what she owns. It's wonderful.
Eeyup.
Planning for the future.
Wait what. WHAT. WE NEED TO FIX THIS SOON.
Hey make sure they build it right.
Silly people.
Some shit happened is Scotland?
Oh hey welcome back.
STILL NOT DOING THAT GAME.
New liege!
New marshal!
Oh it's our bastard uncle. And he wants to get married. It's the least I can do.
Look she's depressed and wants to get married. It's perfect!
Woo!
WOO
Party time!
It would be easier if everyone was Welsh. Why doesn't everyone want to be Welsh!?
I would be a fantastic steward.
AAAA MEASLES
AAA MORE MEASLES
Aww
KEEP YOUR MEASLES AWAY FROM ME
Gentlemen do your thing.
Sssshh.
We need something!
Hi welcome back to your old job. I know it's not as fun as being king of Scotland but you fucked up.
More parties!
Hey my neighbors aren't stripes any more.
Skippy!
You are hereby invited to THE FANCIEST MOTHERFUCKING PARTY EVER
Hey that's a no-no! Also lol text fail.
Best party.
New pope! I like old pope better.
Look the continent thinks it matters.
Fuck this ambition I got a job!
And here we learn we cant' game the ambition system for fun and profit. Sadness.
Yes I am very sure I would like something between me and the raiders.
Peasants deserve to party too.
My liege has made it known he is an asshole.
For some reason the game won't let me betroth Skippy to the liege's daughters.
WOO!
SHUT THE FUCK UP GAME
Powys? But that's where my liege lives...it sure would be... a shame...if the peasants...did something...hehehe
Eh I got piety to burn.
WOO MONEY
YOU ARENT INVITED TO THIS PARTY
Huh not very many of them this time.
I like good economy!
Here son a nice Breton girl.
Everything is coming up Rhodri.
Better defense!
Wait that's independent. DIBS.
HOW DO YOU HAVE SO MANY GUYS.
Sabotage, sabotage. All the fucking sabotage.
Good on you boy!
SUCK LESS.
Alright reinforcement, reinforcements. Oh hey look its my liege maybe-
Beg pardon?
I OFFERED NO SUCH THING
HEY THATS MY INHERITANCE.
I guess I'm a drunk now. I probably got too drunk telling them of FALSE PEACE OFFERS.
AAAA SMALLPOX
EVERYONES DYING OF SMALLPOX ONE MORE PARTY
Just don't let them breathe on you.
Yeah money!
Don't beat monkeys!
Still got piety to burn.
Peasants are money you fool!
New liege!
AwwwwAAA SMALLPOX
Holy shit. We are so lucky.
AAAAAAAA
Fuck him up.
My inheritaaaance!
Today we learned you can't start them too young.
Hooray!
Stress? What stress?
NOBODY LIKES YOU ASSHOLES.
Alright she's bright and Welsh. And she'll teach you all about girls. ALL about girls.
That is too even for my liking.
Sigh.
Can you train them so they suck less?
That's nice honey.
Good they fucked off.
Well let's celebrate!
NOOOOO BISHOP OWAIN
Right back to business.
I AM THE BEST CHANCELLOR.
Right now the genius can teach Skippy.
And a nice Breton girl.
Yes. Very yes.
Oh it's my turn to travel.
While not much is happening let's look at the Isles. As you can see my neighbor is Denmark. And then I own that one little black and white bordered province in the middle. And Cornwall is Cornwall.
Oops.
Ooooh
AAA PNEUMONIA.
Very good!
Well nothing much is still happening so enjoy a couple shots of the continent.
I will punch the bestest!
I suck.
FUCK. OFF.
DIE.
Oh. How level headed of you.
So back to our default plotting and scheming.
What the shit?
Hey that's my liege! I'm the only one allowed to kill him and take his stuff!
WHY DO I SUCK SO HARD!
Good news, they left. Bad news I'm probably gonna make an ass of myself again.
Woo lucky.
That's lot of border activity.
Make it so.
Wow I'm old already.
Skippy I said learn to be a genius not envious.
Hot damn am I lucky.
HOLY CRAP A BEAR
Woo prestige!
And back to status quo. Except for the neighbors burning. Huh.
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